ALL ROADS LEAD TO D.F. NOT ROME

"TEQUILA ES MUY BUENO", AFTER A FEW SHOTS THE LANGUAGE JUST ROLLS OF MY TONGUE

ALL ROADS LEAD TO D.F NOT TO ROME

Tequila is a very cool old town. The small run down town is surrounded by slopes of the Blue Agave plants that are destined to be turned into tequila. The town is surprisingly small considering how much tequila is made here. All the big producers Sauza, Jose Cuervo, Patron and many more are all located in town. We got into town in late afternoon and checked into a local dive hotel, once inside it was kind of nice but in a sketchy area. They let us drive our bikes into the lobby and park them next to the front desk, it made unpacking easy for a change since my bike was parked about five feet from my room. We caught the last tequila tour of the day on an old trolley that took us around the small town, we were the only ones on the tour which was nice. The tour made stops at Sauza and Cuervo before bringing us to a small distillery called El Gran Jubileo. At the distillery we got a tour of the whole process from cultivation to distilling and finally to drinking. Tasting tequilas is quite different than tasting wine, you start to get buzzed a lot quicker. When in Napa I can usually taste all afternoon not the case in tequila, I had a good buzz about an hour into the tour as you can see from the picture.

Sauza distillery

blue agave plant

10-8-6
We left Tequila that morning our destination was San Miguel de Allende. About half way into our days ride we came to the big city of Guadalajara. The highway signs in Mexico can be very confusing they don’t have highway numbers just towns they bring you to, so if you don’t know the names of the towns on your route you can get confused very easily, and we did. I have a g.p.s unit on my bike that works great in the United States but is limited due to lack of software for it in Mexico. I was trying to rely on it to much going through Guadalajara and before we new it we were in the wrong part of town, the asphalt ended and we entered a very undesirable slum area. I looked at Jay and said well according to my g.p.s we are on the on ramp for the highway, it was more like the on ramp to our demise. So we proceeded through the streets getting some pretty nasty looks, our bikes are worth more than most will make in their entire lives. The road was in terrible shape with broken down vehicles and trash everywhere. We finally got out of the area with nothing more than a few scary glares. Although in a much better neighborhood we were still very lost, we now put more emphasis on our maps than the g.p.s. I actually turned it to compass settings and used it just as a directional reference. As we wandered the streets of the big city we ended up high up on a hillside on the outskirts of town in a very poor rundown section of the city, but it seemed much safer than our earlier neighborhood. It was a Sunday so the rough dirt roads were full of locals having some kind of fiesta, we were greeted with smiles and waves in this area much to my satisfaction I was still lost but felt very safe if not even welcome. Finally we came across a major highway, not the one we wanted but we were very happy none the less. It was going east and that was good enough for us. We had now been traveling for over three hours and we were only 21 miles away from our start. Our new found road the hell out of the city brought us south of our destination so we changed destinations to the town of Morelia and I am glad we did.
Guadalajara was now in our rearview mirrors as we started to climb into the mountains, the cool air was very refreshing and after a while it started getting actually cold. I checked my g.p.s. now that we were friends again, and it said we were at 7000 ft and still climbing. I stopped to put a jacket on and we continued to climb the high desert gave way to a pine forest very reminiscent of the Vail area we finally peaked out at 10400 feet and it was quite chilly, I couldn’t have been happier although I knew it wouldn’t last so I enjoyed while it did.
Morelia is a Spanish Colonial city. My favorite town as of yet even though it is a city of over half a million it has a small fell to it. It is full of beautiful churches and cathedrals, everywhere you look you can see a stone spire reaching for the sky or a brilliant blue tiled covered dome. Our hotel for the night was right off the zocala or town square clustered with cafes and shops and restaurants. The hotel as well as the rest of the city had combination of Moorish and colonial Spanish architecture, big thick heavy stone and carved archways and wrought iron balconies that looked down on the bustling cobblestone streets. The climate is extremely pleasant as well due to higher altitude of over 6000 feet.

10-9-06
As Jay attempt to start his bike that morning the noise emanating from the bike foreshadowed things to come, trouble. To get to the sparkplugs on jays bike it is a pain in the ass we had to strip the boxes and tank off the bike to change the plug, it was fouled from the climb of altitude, he should of stopped and changes the jetting on his carburetor as we gained altitude but didn’t. It was time consuming but an easy fix, and on teh road we went.
Mexico City is the largest city in the world no one knows for sure how many people even actually live there, too many to count. When planning out the trip we had every intention of steering clear of the city. After our antics in Guadalajara a city a fraction the size of D. F. (de effe) as Mexico city is referred to as by the locals as well as all the countless horror stories I’ve heard of the city I was very reluctant to even consider going near it. Upon studying our maps to try to find the best route around we came to the conclusion it is unavoidable, all roads lead to the city. There were a few that skirted around but at that point I decided if you’re going to have to dance with the devil stick your tongue down his throat. and into the heart of the city we went.
As we approached the city full of trepidation the air became foul and acrid, the traffic congested and choked to a crawl. I eyed my g.p.s. with a feeling of distrust and said don’t let me down this time, and it performed above and beyond, my trusty friend fell back into my good graces, it led us through the city as if it had been born and raised in old D.F. Our only problem was as we were starting our exit from the bowels of downtown Jay got ahead of me and started down a wrong ramp that would have put us on the wrong road to points unknown. I was able to catch him and upon looking at my g.p.s. for a solution it basically said your fucked now. So we drove up onto the sidewalk and went down the ramp we came up on hoping that no police or pedestrians were in our way. We got back on the road and left the biggest city in the world behind us no worse for the wear.
The toll roads are extremely expensive; we have spent over $200 in the past few days. There are two types of roads toll (cuarto) and free (libre). The libre roads run through every small town and are chocked full of vehicles most in such disrepair they would be turned away by most junkyards as well as all sorts of commercial traffic. The couta roads are in pretty good shape for the most part and get you to where you want be in a fraction of the time, but you pay for it. During one of the stops to pay the tolls Jay’s wallet fell from his tank bag to never be seen again, and his problems aren’t over yet, I told you it was going to be a bad run of events, don’t let the easy passage through D.F. fool you.
Jay discovered his wallet missing so we decided to cut our days ride short and stopped at another old colonial city called Cordoba. Remember the Chrysler Cordoba that Ricardo Mantabalm (the guy from fantasy island) used to pitch adds for in the late seventies, I used to love to hear him say Chrrrysler Corrrrdobbba, anyway back to the story. Cordoba again has its share of churches and cathedrals not as awe inspiring as Morelia but still impressive. Lucky for Jay I think Cordoba is the wallet capital of Mexico, I’ve never seen so many stores selling wallets. With all the hand crafted leather wallets to choose from Jay selected the most ridiculous wallet possible. It’s a blue and red nylon wallet obviously made for a kid and it has chivas written across it, I still can’t find anyone who knows what chivas means, no it’s not the scotch. He said he bought it because it was the cheapest one he found, for three more dollars he could have got a nice leather one. That night as he was trying to put his remaining credit cards and license in to the wallet he commented that they wouldn’t fit, and I told him that most 12 year old boys don’t have either credit card or licenses to worry about, but it did have a nice pocket to put penny’s, nickel’s and dime’s in. I can’t help to chuckle every time he pulls the wallet out.
The next morning we again had trouble with Jay’s bike but eventually got back on the road with intentions to get to San Cristobal a good full days drive. Due to the late start we fell short of our goal, we were going to try to push it but it was starting to get late and the road form Teapa to San Cristobal is infamous for its danger. We decided not to push our luck and settled into a tiny speck on the map called Pichucalo in northern Chiapas to await Jay’s further troubles. Stay tuned.

Jay's new wallet